Fear is not the enemy

I have been climbing for the past several days with a group of more advanced climbers. This means that I had to push myself and overcome a lot of fear, especially since it was my first time actually climbing and especially since I started out with some more advanced routes as well.

I had to deal with the fear of falling, hitting myself against the hard rock, the fear of hurting myself and ultimately the fear of not being good enough, not trusting my capacities that I can actually do it, especially since I the first routes that I tried were not for beginners.

If we think that learning, growth and evolution happens outside of our comfort zone and that outside of our comfort zone is full of fear, uncertainty and little to no control, then it means that we should befriend fear and uncertainty.

If we view it this way then it means that fear and uncertainty are the leading path to growth and evolution.

I am making these connections based on two quotes that speak to me so much. One of them goes in the lines of considering that courage is not the absence of fear but acting from a place of fear and overcoming it because there is something more important to us on the other side.

The other one says that we should not wish that our circumstances or context were easier but rather wish that we were better so that we can accept and overcome the challenge which lays ahead of us.

This means that whenever we might feel fear of something we should be attracted to explore more. I think that fear indicates that the very thing we are fearing might require capabilities that we do not yet possess and here is the potential to develop.

Sometimes, when we are at the brim of our abilities, it just takes a little push to overcome it and be on the other side of fear where we know we have all the resources we need in order to succeed. We just need to take a leap of faith, we need to dive deep into what scares us.

Having this is mind, I want to share how I tackled all of this. Near the camping area we have this beautiful lake which has two jumping points, one from a wooden plank which is probably 1m and the other one is from a rock which is probably 2-2.5m.

First of all, I challenged myself to try the smaller one. I was afraid of slipping on the wet wood, the plank was moving and as I jumped I let out a big scream. I would say that it was the sound of fear coming out of my body and leaving me.

Next step for me was to go on the rock, knowing that I could check the intermediary step and I was not hurt. When I was at the edge of the rock it looked so scary that I was sitting there for a while.

I decided I will need to work a little bit more on my confidence. So I jumped several more times from the smaller distance so that I begin more and more comfortable with it.

Then, I just took the time to observe the other people jumping. Boys and girls, the boys had longer limbs than I did and that made me feel fine since the water was not so deep and the main fear was first of height and secondly of hitting myself from the bottom of the lake.

What really made it for me was when I saw a little girl jumping and that was the point of no return for me. I had to do it.

The only thing standing in my way was my own fear and I knew I needed to train to overcome my fear of falling so that I can be a better climber. I had a strong purpose for it, beside proving to myself that I can do it and building my confidence.

So I went up the second time, took a look and it was still scary. I figured out that if I go a little bit behind, I would not see the whole distance. I was set on doing it, I just needed to do the first step. Started running and just jumped. Again, the loudest scream came out, but in the end I was all right.

So what matters, from my own experience, when you are trying to overcome fear are the following aspects:

– Have a clear goal in mind and know why you want to do it, what is waiting for you on the other side

– Try something gradually and continue with a harder and then even harder version. Each time you build your confidence even more

– Observe other people doing it, see how they do it, what is their technique, observe their experience and learn from it

– Identify what would be a point of no return for you and put yourself in that position. Once you will be there, the only way to get out of it is to just do that thing which scares you

– Know that everything changes and nothing stands still. What can grow, can live and what stands still gradually dies

What is your experience with fear? How do you manage it?

Being dirty is not for everybody

But it definitely can be 🙂

One of my passions is hiking, so I have been to a lot of places in the mountains camping.

Let’s face it, the conditions are far from being 5 stars when you bring only the bare necessities, no shower, no running water at your disposal.

Recently I have started climbing also, and the area we are now in Portugal is near a forest which burned down, so there is also a lot of dust.

This means getting my hands dirty because I touch all the rocks, and when I am the one on the ground assuring somebody else climbing, then I touch all the rope which in turn is also dirty.

Since we only brought water to drink, I had no way to wash my hands and this created a lot of inner distress. And I started thinking about this and why is it so, why are not the others bothered at all by this and they can eat a carrot with their hands completely dirty, not blinking an eye.

First of all, I think it has to do with how our parents educated us but I think this is specifically prevalent for girls. Girls are told since they are young not to dirty their cute little dresses but boys can go with the bike and come back completely covered in mud.

I am exaggerating, but you get the point. Girls grow up with the idea that they need to be clean, because they need to be presentable. In today’s society, looks for a woman are still more important than adventure, fun, trying different things. So this is still a strong gender stereotype that we have not completely overcome.

Secondly, I think it has something to do with social status. I was always ashamed if I would wear something and I would realise it has a whole in it or it is dirty. Because my mom was always careful to make sure that my clothes wouldn’t have any tear nor wear , were dirty or even creased, lest the neighbours or other people might see me and it would be shameful. I always fought and rebelled against it.

I guess the root of this would be that the people judging me by my clothes might have considered that I am a poor person, and this would bring shame to my mother.

Honestly, from my point of view, there is no indication of a person’s value as a human being by the clothes he or she chooses to wear, only a clue about their personal style and what they are into. This has to do with aspect and our fear of not being liked, not being accepted.

But there is a more deeper reason to why we might avert from getting dirty: religion! I know, I know, it is the big stuff, but bear with me. Every single prayer, every single sermon has a paragraph, has a moment where people are repeatedly told that they sinners. That their soul is not clean and pure, that it is dirty.

And this is even more prevalent when it comes to women, starting with Eve who committed the capital sin and „made” Adam do it as well, and continuing to all the references to women being the temptation for men and a sure way to sin.

A flirtatious woman might be considered a dirty woman if she says the same “dirty” jokes a man would. Or even a man, because sex is a dirty thing unless it is used for procreation. And all of this seeds planted in our minds make us avert from being dirty. We need to be presentable so that we keep the appearance of a clean soul also. A little bit dorian-gray-ish.

As a preteen, I was really religious and I was taking pleasure from going to church. But once I got my menstruation, I was told that it is a sin to enter the church, that I should stay only in the first part of the church.

I cannot tell you how much this hurt me to hear, a place that was dear to me, close to my heart, and I was denied to enter because of bleeding, when it was not bothering anyone in anyway.

This and other things made me lose my respect for the church but this is not the topic here. The main idea is that religion makes women feel dirty because of their denied sexuality, because of their beautiful womb, the birthplace of human life.

And if that does not highly impact the way a woman or a man feels about getting dirty, in any context, it means they are not religious or they did a lot of inner work. FYI, after being older, I went to church while having my menstruation and miraculously, the church did not fall on my poor sinner’s head.

And if we continue in this line, there are entire parts of the modern population which are considered untouchable and suffer from severe discrimination, and all because they are considered to be dirty.

They are ostracised and segregated from the rest of the population due to their occupation which were and in some areas of the world are still considered polluting activities. These activities include being fishermen, sweepers, washermen or manual scavengers.

It is an entire subject that needs our attention but the main point is that we have a social construct in our society around being physically dirty, and this cannot go unnoticed by our subconscious mind.

Last but not least for some people like me, my lover calls me germs conscious instead of germaphobic, because I push myself in some situations to overcome this. But the fact that I have dirty hands, even if it is just dust and nobody died from eating a little bit of dust, for me it is still a hard situation to swallow, pun intended.

But I definitely feel more relaxed after writing this article, which in the end was the main reason for which I wanted to write it in the first place.

What do you think? What activities or experiences have you denied yourself because of the risk of getting dirty?

Victories journal

On the 12th of June I proposed a coaching client of mine to write her daily victories. I have had the practice of writing in my journal almost every single evening for some years now but I had my mind on the victories journal for a while. Because I wanted to encourage her to practice it, I decided that the best chance to achieve it is to do it alongside her.

I would like to share with you how this process went so far and I hope that you will be inspired to take upon this amazing practice.

Initially I started writing only for the week days, leaving the weekend off. But going through the notes, I saw that from the 1st of July I have started to share it every single day, with 2-3 exceptions.

I guess this came naturally, without proposing myself to do so. Because I considered that victories are all the things we do in life, they do not resume only for working days. And every day needs to be celebrated with what it brings and what it has to offer.

And secondly, I started taking a lot of value from it. The time I spend to go through the day and focus on the good things is a routine I started to care deeply for, so the practice shifted from “I have to do it” to “I want to do it”

This shift is a tremendous breakthrough with every habit you are trying to implement. First you have to try it for 1-2 or 3 weeks in a consistent manner so that you can see what you are taking out of it, what is the added value it brings into your life and how it makes you feel, how it changes you.nThis way, you will decide to stick to it, because you are gaining so much from it that you find you have too much to lose when you don’t do it.

What happened next, as the practice advanced, it that I started to switch from victories related to what I have done to victories related to what I have learned, how did I feel, what attitudes/convictions I adopted.

During quarantine, I have been writing a lot in my journal about switching from doing/having to being. Focusing on the life I live and not so much on the things I do, I achieve, it helps me to bring more awareness to my inner universe and how it reflects on the outside. This started to change the way I wrote in my victories journal.

Another beautiful thing I started in the last week of July is that I added a photo from the ones I took on that day, I want it to remind me of what that day looked like for me.

And this started creating even more pleasure to write in the victories journal, seeing all the good things and a beautiful photo, it looks amazing.

A means of higher commitment

Moreover, the victories journal has become also a commitment and responsibility tool toward the habits of challenges I take upon each month. I will mention some of them here as well:

1. Make sure I reach my optimal level of hydration. Alongside nutrition, sleep, exercises and the quality of air, hydration play an important role in my health and I make sure that I drink the best quality and therapeutic alkaline water

2. Since mid June when I started the victories journal, I started the challenge to eat no sugar and no dairy. It was on and off but July was completely without it. As well without caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or any other unprescribed drugs.

3. On 20th of July I proposed myself to write one article a day on my blog, or invest time to write other creative work, or transcribe previous work to be ready to publish it. Happy to say that I only missed one day so far and getting stronger in my commitment as the days pass, even though it gets harder as well.

4. On the 1st of August I set out to see the sunrise every day and run for 5km to reach the place. The hardest part so far is going to sleep at 22:00.

So all of these newly implemented routines I write them every day as a victory, and every day I celebrate the fact that I managed to keep my commitment.

Tips for starting a victories journal

This has been my experience so far, I would like to give you some tips in case you are thinking of giving this a try:

• I use my phone, a simple note taking app which you have from your phone will do, it is more accessible to me, before going to sleep, I do not want to open my laptop, nor do I fill fit to use my journal for this, my journal is dedicate to soul searching, answering big questions. But again, find that medium which best suits you, you should be comfortable writing so that there is no friction and no excuses there;
• Just commit to write initially 3 victories for the first week, then increase it to 5, and so on. Of course, if you feel like writing more, don’t stop by all means, but commit to it, don’t let a day pass without writing something down;
• No matter how bad a day was, there will always be something good in it, there will always be a reason to be grateful, a reason to be thankful for something which has happened, something you learned, even the smallest of victory counts, the fact that you got out of bed, etc.
• The fact that I had a partner with which I share my victories makes me stick to this no matter what. Our commitment increases when we make public our intention or when we can build an accountability system. Pick a friend, start sharing your victories, the way you will bond and relate to one another will incredibly enhance;
• Add photos to make it more interesting, make it more visual appealing and to feel even more connected to this practice, maybe just some text to scroll down is not so enticing, but I guarantee you that you will find it amazing to be able to see how your day looked like.

The benefits of keeping a victories journal

would like to mention the benefits I have felt with this practice but I am sure that with each person, there will be different things to enjoy from this practice. so here it goes:

• The most important one, you educate your mind to think positively, to see the full half of the glass, since we are champions of seeing only the negative, criticising and thinking that only bad things happen to us, that we cannot do anything, that all is bad, etc;
• You increase your self esteem by connecting each day with the things you managed to do, managed to solve, sometimes we are running so hard to finish that endless to do list, that at the end of the day we might feel that we have not achieved much. Take a closer look. Your self trust is connected with the sense of accomplishment and achievement, keeping your promises to yourself and to others;
• More commitment towards your life, your objective, for being productive, proficient, making the best out of each day. Just the simple fact that you have in mind that you need to write down those victories and send them to somebody at the end of the day makes you go and do things. And the more you achieve, the more you get energy, motivation and momentum to achieve even more, it creates a beautiful upwards spiral;
• You connect to a deeper level with a person with whom you choose to share your victories. Having a person knowing what is important to you, what you are striving for, what you want to achieve, and how your days look like is a powerful vulnerability exercise on one hand, and on the other hand, it is a beautiful way to let yourself be seen deeply be somebody else.
• I started sharing my victories with my lover as well and I realised it has a tremendous impact n the way we relate, the way we understand each other, building a closer and stronger relationship, by letting him see how my day has beed. A sort of checking out of the day with a lot of information to share. Sometimes he shares also and it makes it all even better since I also get the chance to see what matters to him, to understand him better, and why not, be able to support him in whatever is important to him.
• I am planning at the end of the month to print all the victories, and have a retrospective of my month, this way the planning of the next month will go much smoother, and also I will be able to have a beautiful account of my year, when it is time to review what has happened in the last 12 months and plan the year ahead. And it is also a nice way of being able to remember the life you lived each day of the year;
• And also, it is an amazing way to celebrate the life and the fulfilment and the growing in each day, week, month or year.

I hope that I have you enough reason to want to give it a try. Let me know in the comments what do you think of it, and if you will give it a chance.

A day in my victories journal

If you are interested how would a daily entry would be in my victories journal, I leave you here with one example, with no editing whatsoever, so you can see what my daily victories are.

Some are small, some are not, it does not matter, just write what makes your heart sing and what you are proud of. This day was the last day of my stay in Portugal, and I am glad how it went.

Victories 29th of August 2020

– woke up and started the 5AM Club meeting at 6AM, was ready in the car to leave for the sunrise, it is hard to have a meeting on the road but extreme circumstances call for extreme measures

– I kept my positive attitude even though I was waiting in the car for 20 minutes and realising we were not starting and not knowing why, being pressed by time to reach the place we sought for seeing the sunrise, kept my cool when we had to turn back to take Luis’s laptop charger, when we went on a road not knowing where we are going, when the most important part of the meeting came and I had to persuade my team mates and the car was beeping loudly because we were going in reverse so I had to stop talking, I am really proud of my attitude towards all the bottlenecks

– I enjoyed the sunrise and tried to take as much as possible from it, feel the fresh air, see the beautiful light, even though I was just standing in the middle of the road

– when we were about to go, because a car was waiting, I faked that I was pushing the car, I realise that I am starting not to take life so seriously and have a positive attitude about it, laugh and take everything lightly, the guys from the other car immediately came out of the car to help out and they laughed when i told them it was a joke

– tried to lighten Luis’s mood and I think he was stressed about how I would react about not seeing the sunrise, we had planned for the last sunrise a really beautiful location, and I assured him that I understand and I am not at all upset because I proposed myself to have this attitude, whatever it may come

– had breakfast at home and pancakes and we could properly say goodbye, so in the end it had positive sides the fact that we could not go to Lisbon

– told Luis that I am there for him, he was in a bad mood and slowly he also started to smile again, I am glad I can be there for him in this way

– met with Amalia and saw some graffiti, had an interesting conversation about facial hair and about my insecurity with it so I decided to do a Frida Khalo experiment

– recorded with Amalia a video for my coaching client Carmen because I had the idea to organise a femininity and sexuality empowerment retreat together and she replied with a video as well and was excited about idea, said that I am a treasure and it went to my heart to hear her appreciation. Amalia was also letting me lead the process completely trusting the way I can facilitate it

– had a really good talk about Luis’s flatmate and about the situation where Alex had to move and we cleared out together some big topics, issues and I am freaking proud of myself for my maturity, for my approach, for my openness and this is all due to the 4 Agreements book

– went to an Indian restaurant and had a really delicious lunch. Two sauces were with sugar and yogurt and I am glad I asked about it and refrained from eating since I am on a no sugar, no dairy diet. I also consciously chose not to eat meat, just vegetables and that is also a win.

– got to see some more super amazing graffiti and Luis was really making this happen for me and it was such a happy filled experience for me, I really do love murals and he was great for taking care of everything

– said goodbye to Rosario and she really got to me, made me emotional, in this visit she started to grow on me, I even had a moment when I was reminiscing her embrace, and it felt so good, almost felt like she was my mom

– satisfied about the video I sent to Diana about getting things done, no excuses, and make sure she strives to do her best. I had it in my mind to send it since yesterday and I am glad I found the time/emotional availability to send it

– read 40 pages from the practical guide of the 4 Agreements and it is feeling amazing, completely life changing, wrote 8 pages of journaling answers,I will be writing a separate post with these ones as well

– gave Luis my buff and pillow so that he can sleep well, and was jumping over him in the plane when I was going to the toilet, not bother his sleep, I wanted him to rest and felt happy that I can help him, he really needed and deserved it completely

– took all the precautions with disinfection on the plane, in the airport, made sure I kept my distance and tried not to touch anything, nor my face with my hands.

– realised that I had actually managed to resist eating for 2 weeks pasteis de nata which is my favourite dessert from Portugal and the awesome good cheese I discovered there. There were some moments when I wanted to, but I didn’t! And this is a mega win for me!

– reestablished the interview with Elena and the time frame is more achievable this way for both of us, I want to ensure we both have good experience and we enjoy recording it

– Answered Iunia about my bio as Integration Game facilitator and I am glad I am part of this team, and I will be able to impact communities to have deeper and more authentic conversations

– no sugar, no dairy day, achieved my daily water intake

See below the photo I have chosen for this day to include in my victories journal, with the beautiful graffiti I got to see in Lisbon, this one was made by a Romanian artist, Nicolae Negură, depicting the reality of wearing different masks in our online presence.

I hope this inspires you to start your own victories journal! So don’t wait to much, start writing today like there is no tomorrow!

Sleep naked

If somebody would have told me half an year ago that I will be sleeping naked, I would have laughed in their face and told them that they don’t really know me. And this is because I used to sleep, no matter the season, with long pants and long sleeved blouse, just because I was cold and could not fall asleep. I literally could not fall asleep unless I had these, it was a nightmare to be someplace where I had forgotten to take them.

There were times when I went to conferences or delegation, and if I forgot a long sleeved blouse, I would need to use a jacket or borrow one from somebody, otherwise I would need to say goodbye to sleep.

All of this changed when my Portuguese lover came to live with me. He is used to sleeping like this, no matter the season. Living alone with him and feeling comfortable to this, I decided to give it a try. And since then, I am a proudly naked sleeper as well 🙂

Ok, ok, you might ask, but why? Yes, there are some benefits, I will share some below.

For a good night sleep, to fall asleep faster and increase your sleep quality our body needs to lower its temperature so clothes keeps us warm when in fact they should not. I don’t have the space to include here ALL the health benegits of a good quality sleep, there are so many!

We also need to be as comfortable as possible, no pants to be tight on our waist, no blouses, no T-shirts.

No matter how large and silky our pyjamas are, they still don’t give that sense of complete freedom as when sleeping without clothes, no seams, no tightness, no tags to scratch your skin.

You leave your skin to feel the smoothness and freshness of the sheets and come to enjoy this feeling, every time you move, the bedsheets and the duvet caressing your whole body, hmmmm, you’re definitely missing this one out.

You build up your body’s resistance to cold, and strengthen it’s capacity to withstand colder temperatures. Why would you want that? So that you are more comfortable during winter, when you are out in the cold and also because the perfect temperature for a good night’s sleep is 17 degrees.

A friend of mine told me about the concept of antifragility concept, you can read more about this in the book Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Basically it promotes the idea to gradually expose our body and organism to different conditions so that we can ultimately build our resistance. I think sleeping naked is a good point to develop your antifragility.

You don’t need to use so many clothes, especially if you sweat a lot during the night and need to change them every day. So by sleeping naked, you are giving your washing machine a break, you use less water, electricity and detergent, and if you are interested in reducing waste, consumption and supporting a circular economy, maybe this argument will appeal to you.

Amazingly enough, sleeping naked also contributes to your vaginal health since sleeping in tight sweaty underwear created the perfect warm and moist environment for yeast infections.

This is not only beneficial for the ladies, men can avoid infertility and increase the health of their sperm by letting their testicles be cool and air out.

And if we are talking about emotional benefits, well being in contact with your body every night and morning, not hiding it away, not wanting to see it and reject it but rather embrace it every single day improves your connection with your body and thus increases your self esteem!

And of course, I cannot skip over this, imagine how your love life will enhance when every evening you go naked to bed, you can caress and feel the warmth of your lovers’ body, you give your touching sense a feast every time you go to sleep.

And I don’t know if you ever experienced this, but it happened that we both were sleeping, I dreamt of him and we slowly start making love, being half awake, half asleep.

I imagine that if we had our clothes on, until we would have gotten undressed, part of the sensuality of the moment would have gone away. You know that in movies, the sex scenes do not include getting stuck in your pyjamas, clothes fly off with the speed of light 😛

How did I do it? I just let myself give it a try. I started out in the summer but now I can do it every season, some days when I have my period I feel like having something but the long sleeves and pants are not mandatory anymore.

And because I wanted to develop my antifragility and all the reasons above were a huge motivator, but mostly because I saw my lover do it, I thought that if he can do it then I should be able to do it too. And I did! And I am proud and happy about it.

What about you? How do you sleep? Have you ever considered sleeping naked? Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

The sun and I

The month of August is the month where I am going to see the sunrise every morning. The spot that I chose to do it is somewhere at the outskirts of the city, where there is a field laying in front of me and I can see the mountains all around.

Since it is mid summer, the sun rises at about 06:10 and in order to get there, I wake up at 05:15, get dressed, run for 2.5 km and then I just have to wait. This challenge is a part of the 30 Challenges to Enlightenment I am currently following, the previous month I had to refrain from alcohol, nicotine or caffeine or any other unprescribed drugs, and I added sugar and dairy to the list.

The reason why I am writing this article is to share with you my love for catching the sunrise. Even if it is that early in the morning, I gain so much more in return of my effort. Here are some of the reasons that might make you give it a try as well:

• I wake up with a purpose in mind, and this helps me start the day with a determined mindset, because I have already taken the decision that no matter what happens, this month I will see the sunrise every… single… day!

• Every day I succeed in doing so, it adds to build my commitment and my discipline, because every time we achieve what we set out to do, we build that sense of commitment even stronger and when we respect our promises to ourselves we grow even stronger in our resolve;

• I start the day in nature, I observe the flight of the birds and their freedom in the sky, I take a look of the stability of the mountains and their powerful presence, I watch as the grass and the plants move with the wind and most of all I gaze at the sky, at the clouds and wait for the miracle the sun paints every morning. Spending time in nature helps us be in a relaxed, healthy emotional state;

• Seeing the sunrise every day brings me to a state of gratefulness, that I am still alive, that I can see, that I can smell, that I can still run, breathe and enjoy the freshness of the morning. That I can give myself the time to be relaxed and just be there, not needing to run and reach some place. A gratefulness practice will increase the positive hormones release and strengthen our immunity system in return;

• Our world revolves around the sun, it gives us the premise for life and growth, and we too need vitamin D for our own health, so I am taking the chance to give thanks to the sun as well for all that it has to offer us;

• Every morning is different, the sky and the weather is completely different every morning and it takes me out of a daily routine, makes me see the unicity in each and every single day and makes me view it like a blank page which awaits to be written upon, what words I choose to put on it depends only on myself;

• No matter what has happened the previous day, the sunrise resets everything and I wake up with a renewed force and confidence that I can make out whatever I set my intention to, it does not matter what happened yesterday when I have today to make the best out of it;

• The colours of the sky at sunrise are incredible, the golden, orange, pink hues that intermingle to create the most beautiful painting I can see every single day, it is a form of colour therapy and contemplation which I enjoy and be mindful about;

• Every morning, after I head out back home, I salute the sSun and tell it, see you tomorrow! It is like we set out a meeting, and I know that no matter what happens, the sun will show up. And that sense of stability and that confidence that no matter what, I am not alone, I will always have the sun, can bring light in the darkest times;

• Lastly, I enjoy seeing the sunrise every morning because I start out the day really early and it creates space for my mourning routine, which helps me take care of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual intelligence. I take a healthy breakfast, I run and exercise, I contemplate and meditate, I set out my priorities and intention for the day and I put myself in a grateful state. It is the best beginning I could ever offer myself.

What do you think? Are you willing to give it a try? See how it goes? What are you reasons for enjoying the sunrise?

Taking risks may pay off

Yesterday, during my morning run, following the path in the field upon my return, I decided to continue straight and not turn right as I usually did, to get on the concrete street.

I did not know if the path which continued straight was going to lead me in the direction I needed, but I thought it is a right time to try and see where it leads to.

Worst case scenario, I would have to turn back and take the road I knew, in case it was a dead end. But it proved to be alright so I made a mental note to follow it the next morning.

I have been running on this route for the past year and only once before I tried this and found a new way, but never put too much thought into it until today.

Today, my partner, running only for the second time, taking the route I newly discovered yesterday, continued with it. Again, not knowing if it will leads us where we needed to go. I had no time to protest so I followed him. In the end it turned out it was alright.

Why is this so important for me? Because out of the 5km run I do in the morning, 50% of it was on concrete and the rest was on a field path.

Since I want to protect my knees and be as far away from the cars, finding a way is really important. So now, we got to 75% running on the earthen path which is a huge win.

Then while running on the way back home, having in mind these two recent discoveries, I started thinking about our willingness to risk. Risking something good we have going on in order to try the possibility of finding something better, with no certainty that in the end there will actually be something better on the other side.

Who does this on a usual basis? The next quotes come to my mind, realised that growing up with them they are also part of my beliefs and as it turns out, they might be limiting me:

“If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!”

I was doing just fine with my route or at least I took it as it was, not thinking that I could actually find a better alternative.

If you have something going on, then most probably you will not try to do it a different way, risking to fail. We are creatures of habit and comfort. But this mentality is not a growth mentality.

A few days ago, while cooking, my partner made a lentil curry and said that he might try the recipe without the tomato sauce, just with the coconut cream. And I asked him why? I really liked it that way!! Why change it? What if next time it won’t be as good as before? If you find a recipe you like, stick with it!!

Obviously, I was not thinking like a chef, but rather like a plain hungry eater. What if the new recipe would end up being even better? I might not know, because I am was not willing to try.

Another Romanian saying goes like this:

“Don’t give up the crow in your hand for the beautiful bird in the sky”.

This sums it up so perfectly! The mentality of sticking with something mediocre, or good enough, fearing that if we reach too high, then we might end up empty handed.

But as long as we don’t let go of that crow, we might never know if we can reach that high and catch a colibri. We might catch one or we might not, but as long as we don’t try, we will never find out.

The sad part is that we keep ourselves at our lowest potential, not truly knowing how far can we go.

And the last saying goes like this. ”The shortest road is the one you know.” And this applies to everything in life. If I know how to do something in a way, I will not risk losing more time just to see if I can find a shorter way.

But this is exactly the birthplace of innovation and productivity. The willingness to risk losing resources in order to validate or invalidate a new way of working, a new project, a new cost cutting strategy. There is no guaranteed result.

This is what an entrepreneurial mindset is all about. Risking to fail in order to have a chance of succeeding.

How do you relate to this? Are you willing to try new things? Try different ways of acting, working? What is your relationship with risk and failing?

5AM: Tribul oamenilor nerezonabili

Acest sfârșit de săptămână am avut teambuilding și întâlnirea de planificare pentru următorul sezon de 5AM Club. Dacă nu ai auzit până acum de club, este o platformă de dezvoltare personală deschisă între orele 05:00 – 07:00 pentru cei care își doresc să își îmbunătățească performanța, să împlementeze obiceiuri productive și să ducă o viață împlinită.

Clubul este în vacanță, o să avem redeschiderea pe 1 septembrie, până atunci aș vrea să împărtășesc câteva din răspunsurile pe care le-am pregătit și împărtășit cu colegii mei de echipă, la întâlnirea noastră 🙂

De ce sunt moderatoare pe 5AM Club?

Atunci când intru în club, îmi încep rutina de dimineață, cu hidratare, inspirația zilnică, scrierea obiectivelor anuale, priritățile zilnice, practica de recunoștință, mic dejun și sport. În acest mod îmi hrănesc cele 4 inteligențe: fizică, mentală, emoțională și spirituală.

În funcție de perioadă, ordinea obiceiurilor variază, dar această rutină mă ajută să îmi încep ziua cu cea mai bună stare posibilă. Iar faptul că am o comunitate de oameni cu aceleași interese mă responsabilizează și motivează să mențin aceste obiceiuri productive.

În foarte multe dimineți m-am simțit cu adevărat împlinită pentru că în sistemul meu de valori se regăsește și dezvoltarea și evoluția, valoare pe care o împărtășesc cu mulți membri pe de 5AM Club, oameni care își doresc s învee ceva nou în fiecare zi, oameni care își doresc să fie mai buni pe zi ce trece.

Faptul că pot contribui la dezvoltarea celor din jurul meu mă face să simt că aduc o contribuție pozitivă și valoroasă în societate. Creștem împreună prin vizionarea resursei inspiraționale pe diferite tematici de pe TED.com, pe baza căreia discutăm și facem schimb de impresii și rezultate din practică în fiecare zi. Valoarea adăugată este schimbul de informație, idei, oportunități și feedback care ne ajută să ințelegem și să integrăm diferite informații mai bine.

Cel mai mult din povestea lui Harap Alb, îmi place jăraticul pe care i-l dă calului, care îl ajută să crească într-un an cât alții în zece, iar acest lucru simt atunci când accesez oportunitățile oferite de această platformă, cresc exponențial, la o viteză incredibilă, mă uit în urmă de la începutul anului la cât de mult am reușit să învăț, să mî dezvolt, să avansez în ceea ce mi-am propus și asta pentru că am avut alături de mine o cuminitate care să mă sprijine să fac aceste lucruri.

Programele pe care le-am accesat prin intermediul 5AM Club, și anume Wildfit, m-a ajutat să înțeleg care este nutriția potrivită pentru mine pentru un stil de viață sănătos, mi-a dat strategii relevante și pertinente pentru a include cât mai mult din acele alimente care sunt benefice pentru mine și să le înlătur pe cele nocive. Mai mult decât, am descoperit cum pot gestiona foamea și mâncatul emoțional. A fost o experiență valoroasă pentru mine, care merită conversații întregi pe temă.

Iar programul de testare gratuit a apei alcaline, ionizate Kangen m-a ajutat să beau apa de cea mai bună calitate, prin PH său ridicat, prin potențialul de oxidoreducere și de combatere a efectelor negative ale radicalilor liberi și prin filtrarea de toate impuritățile pe care le găsim la apa de la robinet, printre care și foarte mult clor.

Împreună cu schimbările pozitive la nivel de nutriție, am complementat cu cunoștințe și practică zilnică în ceea ce privește hidratarea optimă. Iar acestea sunt doar două exemple, foarte pe scurt, despre programele pe care le-am accesat, de anul trecut și de la care încep să culeg roadele la nivel de vitalitate și energie, stomac ușor, claritate și o stare de bine. Iar efectele o să continue mai departe, zi de zi, pentru că reușesc să îi dau corpului meu ambrozie și nectar 🙂

Sunt în comunitatea 5AM încă din 2012 de când mi-am început cariera, și am început să lucrez cu Dan Luca la 5AM Productivity Coaching. Să încep să lucrez pentru o firmă de coaching la primul job a însemnat să mă dezvolt extraordinar de mult prin toate cunoștințele pe care le-am accesat la nivel de productivitate, să reușesc să dezvolt conținut și experiențe de învățare pe acestă temă și să am cel mai bun mentor posibil. Și aș fi făcut toate aceste lucruri fără să fiu plătită.

Faptul că mi-am început cariera cu această oportunitate m-a pus în poziția în care să am un standard ridicat de profesionalism, cunoștințe și așteptări legate de performanța mea și a celor cu care colaborez. Mai mult decât atât, am încățat cum să lucrez eficient, singură și cu alte persoane, cum să comunic spre a stabili relații productive și cum să ofer și să primesc feedback  constructiv.

A fost dream job și continuă să fie pentru mine acest lucru din moment ce această colaborare continuă și astăzi, de aproape 8 ani de zile. Sunt recunoscătoare pentru toți oamenii valoroși care au intrat în viața mea din acel moment, tot ce am reușit să dezvolt la nivel de carieră și omul care am devenit astăzi.

5AM Club mai reprezintă pentru mine o platformă în care pot împărtășii diferite acțiuni, inițiative din zona societății civile, să sprijin și să încurajez acei oameni care aleg să se implice, să facă o schimbare pozitivă în comunitatea și societatea lor.

Asociațiile care sunt aproape de sufletul meu și pentru care voi fi ambasador în orice moment și context sunt Asociația Pentru Liberate și Egalitate de Gen care sprijină victimele violenței domestice și abuzurilor sexuale și militează pentru egalitatea de gen, Asociația Cu Verdele-n Sus care luptă împotriva tăierilor ilegale și  are în îngrijire păduri plantat copăcel cu copăcel de câțiva ani buni deja, Platforma pentru consum colaborativ și economie circulară pe care am înființat-o și Asociația Liberated care luptă împotriva traficului uman.

5AM mai reprezintă pentru mine o fabrică de îndeplinit visuri, pentru că aici ai ocazia să împărtășești cu oameni valoroși ceea ce îți dorești să realizezi în viață și găsești resursele de care ai nevoie pentru a porni pe această cale. Unul dintre visurile mele este să scriu, iar 5AM Club m-am ajutat să pun cărămidă, după cărămidă, atunci când mi-am luat un angajament față de membri să încep să scriu.

Acum postez câte un articol în fiecare zi pe blogul meu și dezvolt procese de journaling de reflecție și deavoltare personală, iar acest lucru este pentru mine o realizare fenomenală. De asemenea, toate celelalte proiecte pe care le-am deavoltat ca freelancer au putut să crească tocmai pentru că am găsit un incubator, o comunitate care să mă pună în poziția de a găsi resursele și de a dezvolta abilitățile de care am nevoie pentru a le realiza.

Închei cu ultimul motiv, și anume posibilitatea de a influența și de a avea un impact asupra productivității, calității vieților antreprenorilor, managerilor, liber profesioniști, profesori, și a celor implicați în societate civilă. Iar faptul că aceși oameni conduc, colaborează sau educă la rândul lor alte persoane mă ajut să multiplic și să catalizez impactul pe care îl pot avea.

Sunt atât de multe de spus, dar mă rezum la aceste motive. Dacă ai reușit să citești până aici, îți multumesc tare mult pentru atenția ta și îmi doresc să ne cunoaștem. Dacă nu ești deja pe 5AM club, poți cere o invitație la 5amclub.ro și ne vedem pe 1 septembrie, iar dacă ai vrea să îți reactivezi contul, trimite un email la dan@5amclub.ro 🙂